I'm back (kind of)

I don't want to be here right now... I want to go back to Ghana.  It's officially really hard coming home after an experience like the past 2 months.  Honestly, I am tired of traveling, but at the same time I think that I could get really comfortable in a place like Ghana if I stayed in one spot for a while.  Coming back to a place like this is overwhelming to say the least and to be honest with you I don't even have the words to explain why.  But I think that I will try anyways.

Travel was relatively easy yesterday (and the day before that haha).  No major bumps along the way.  Spent a couple of hours in London's Heathrow airport just people watching.  My immediate impression... people are so content with their lives in the West.  You can see it in their faces, in the ways that they walk alone to their next destination, not having to rely upon others to make it to that destination.  Being content, I feel that we gloss over the interesting parts of life, of people.  We have the resources and the ideas to do just about anything that we please in life without really thinking about it at all.  It is all handed to us and we have ABSOLUTELY NO APPRECIATION FOR THAT!!  To struggle is to come into contact with real people, with the core of what makes us human... just some thoughts.  It is strange being around white people again... and Indian and Asian etc. too.  I miss being the minority... life is too easy being a member of the majority race.  

It was strangely natural being back in the city again.  Everything is in its same spot and not much has changed as far as I can tell.  Upon getting back to my apartment I immediately went out to Potbelly's to get a turkey sandwich and a potato salad, the meal that I had been planning for the past month and a half literally.  However, now I am fantasizing about Ghanaian food... a big plop of fufu or banku with okra stew or groundnut soup and chicken would be amazing right now.  Oh yeah... and to eat with my hands again would be a luxury.  After dinner I got out my drum and played for a while.  It felt really good to do that again.  Frankly I don't want to unpack my bags and wash my clothes and have avoided so until now... I guess that I am avoiding the fact that I am not traveling anymore.

This morning I woke up around 3 am... 8 am in Ghana haha and forced myself to go back to sleep until 6.  It is going to take a while just to get over this jet lag thing and even longer to get over the culture shock part.  Immediately went to Dominicks to get some eggs and bread in order to recreate a typical Ghanaian breakfast... still some work to do here.  Tried my first North American banana again... I miss the tiny but delicious Ghanaian bananas that haven't been pumped up with god knows what.

Everything is too orderly and clean here.  Traffic is too organized and the sidewalks are too polished.  The stores have too many things and too much of each.  What is our society hiding with this excessive cleanliness and orderliness.  Maybe there is something inherently wrong with America that we try to gloss over by portraying our wealth and organizational capabilities.  I miss the tro-tro stations where one could assemble a reasonable lunch by buying snacks from 3 or 4 different women carrying crackers, ground nuts, plantain chips, fried dough balls and popcorn in bowls on their heads.  I miss getting a hearty and healthy meal for under a dollar... bought a pair of scissors this morning for the the price of 4 Ghanaian meals.  I miss chickens and goats wandering freely in and out of traffic and vendors on the sides of the streets.  I miss people bending over backwards to help you out.  PEOPLE ARE TOO INDIVIDUALISITIC HERE!!  I used to think that this was okay, but now I am not so sure.  There is hardly any community besides a person's group of friends.  My immediate impression was that people here are too comfortable, that they have everything provided for them, that they can get everything that they "need" by themselves and with relative ease.  Everything is right in front of you and you can see it in peoples' faces.  You can see a sense of satisfaction in a person's face, but at the same time you can also sense that they are missing something.  Yet again still trying to find the right words here.  I believe ( and could be wrong) that there is some sort of happiness that comes from having to struggle a little in life, from having to work to make a living and having to interact with one's community to get by.

Don't get me wrong, I feel privileged to be a well-off Westerner (trying not to just say American anymore... don't forget about Canada!).  It gives me a chance to live in a free society where I can live the life that I chose and be who I chose to be.  However, I am frustrated all the same.  I think that each country, society and individual needs to question itself and potentially make changes.

Most of all I just miss people.  I miss the amazing people I traveled with and all of the Ghanaians that I crossed paths with.  The more I travel I realize that people are people.  I see people doing the same thing just in ways that are new and fascinating to me.  Culture often times prevents outsiders from realizing this basic fact.  We all do the same thing just in different ways.  I may jump forward over a line while screaming and waving about while another man may simply walk forward over that same line.  In the end we all end up doing the same thing, whether it be stepping over the line or saying good morning.  As so many Ghanaians (especially rastas haha) explained to me, "We are all one people."  While this statement may seem incredibly cheesy, I think that there is some sort of truth within.

Anyways, these are my initial jet-lagged reactions to being back in the states.  Many more to come I am sure.  

I have said it again and again.... I am so glad that I went to Ghana this summer and feel incredibly fortunate to have done so.  I hope that I will end up back there or someplace else in Africa in the future.  Now I just need to figure out how to play the cello again... haven't even opened to case yet.  Hoping to experiment a little with incorporating some West African ideas, rhythms and instrumentation into my cello playing.  Hmm... we'll see where that goes.  Also need to start figuring out grad school... after going to Ghana I am even more excited about the idea of studying ethnomusicology either next year or in 2010.  Much to figure out here.  Oh yeah... peace corps?!?!?  So many options so little time.  

Anyways, thanks for reading.  I have gotten a lot out of writing this blog and I hope that my friends and family have too.  Might even write some more over the next couple days.  We'll see.  Ciao.

Patrick